My High-Spirited Girl

She has always been my high-spirited child.

And, yes.  That has always been our more politically-correct way of saying she’s all fire and ice.

From the moment she came into this world, she made her presence known.  With a vengeance.

She was the tiny little bundle that screamed, almost non-stop, for the first four months of her life.  The colic.  The howls.  The wails.  It always shocked me how such a ruckus could come out of something so tiny.

And once the colic ended, another persona emerged.  One that was equally as spirited.

We soon found that, as a toddler, her voice was just as strong.  One minute, she could be the sweetest child you would ever meet.  And in the blink of an eye, she became stubborn, willful, and impossibly obstinate.  She was like a lot of toddlers, maybe.  Except with the amplification turned up.

As she got older, we thought perhaps her mood swings would even themselves out.  But they have not.  If anything, they’ve become more pronounced.  (A foreshadowing of what her teenage years will be, perhaps?)

As an almost-six-year-old, she still swings hot and cold at a pace that makes me dizzy.  She loves ferociously, and throws temper tantrums with a passion that still surprises me.

But maybe it should not surprise me.  Because I know where it comes from.

As much as I hate to admit it, she’s just like her momma.

I am stubborn.  I love those around me ferociously, but I can also snap at them with a passion that is somewhat scary.    Patience is once of the things I constantly have to work on.  I have a quick temper and a sharp tongue, both of which often lead me to regret some of the things I say.  It’s a trait I’ve always disliked in myself.

So, I cannot blame her for what she is.  I know exactly where she gets it.

Would I change what she is?  I can say, unequivocally, that even if I could, I would not.

Not in a million years.

She is my high-spirited child.  And, difficult as that is sometimes, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But perhaps, one of the hardest lessons to-date that I am learning as a parent is this:  part of loving her unconditionally might mean accepting in her the traits that I least like in her mother.

And, perhaps, that also means learning to embrace, accept and improve upon those same traits in myself.

15 thoughts on “My High-Spirited Girl”

  1. Your mom must be thinking “pay back is a bitch” – but that was before text messages and Facebook. Yeah, you’re in for a whirlwind but personally, I think, Yay for us high-spirited gals!

  2. Love. Love. Love.
    That’s what makes her so unique in this life.
    She’s who she is…and she nor her mom will change that for the world.

  3. I couldn’t possibly love this more!

    This ode to your sweet girl and the fire and ice that you share- it’s perfect just the way it is!

    Beautiful, my dear friend, just beautiful!


  4. They are such mirrors for us. What a wise parent you are to have discovered that so soon. Without tons of therapy. 🙂

    Here’s to parenting spirited children without breaking their beautiful spirits, so that they may go make their amazing mark upon this world. Cheers!

    1. The fire and ice definitely keeps things interesting, doesn’t it? Although, sometimes I feel a little sorry for my husband. He’s got two fire and ice girls to deal with. Poor guy.

  5. Beautiful girl! Someday that spirit and stubborn and fire will serve her very well. After all, you turned out ok, right? 🙂

  6. my girl is just like me too…it drives me nuts at times but I know when she is out on her own I am going to feel good knowing that she is strong, independent, and full of spirit!

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