Oh, my dear friends.
I look at you, and I don’t even recognize you anymore. What happened to the twins I used to love so much?
You used to be plump. Inviting. Symmetrical. I might even say, perky.
And now? None of those words describe you. You are both the antithesis of perky.
Flattened. Deflated. A little lumpy. And definitely anything but inviting.
I know life hasn’t been easy for you two. I acknowledge that you’ve been through a lot, so I’ll give you that. More than a few years of marriage and a couple of kids can make anyone a little, well, a little saggy. And the fact that I sleep on my stomach and squish you flat every night probably doesn’t help much with the plumpness factor.
I wish you could just go back to the way you were. At one time, you were perfect. But, lately, you’ve changed so much that I’ve been considering the alternatives.
I’ve sadly realized that it’s time to upgrade. I need something bigger and better. Out with the old, and in with the new.
So we’ve been researching the possibilities, and comparing the options. And, boy, are there a lot of options.
How big? How firm? Do we go for “top of the line,” or skimp to save a few bucks? I had no idea how expensive you guys could be, so when I started calling around for prices, I was floor-struck.
And perhaps the most important question: do we make you both the same size? Or go with one bigger, and one smaller?
It’s a decision I’ve had to consult with my husband on. Because, when it comes down to it, you’re partly his as well. And he needs to be happy with the decision I make as well.
I hope you understand, my friends. It’s time to say, “Ta Ta.” No pun intended.
Here’s hoping that your replacements will not sag, droop or become lumpy. But I’m not holding out hope.
You see, I’ve been searching for the perfect pillow for a long, long time.