I hereby request that, going forward, you put me to bed every night.
I know momma may have objections with this request. She loves the fact that I snuggle up in her arms and give her warm, tight hugs before bedtime. She loves how I lay my fuzzy little head on her shoulder and say, “I love you, momma” as she’s closing the door to my room.
But I have some sound arguments for you putting me to bed each night. They are as follows:
- You rub my back to help me fall asleep. Mom just plops me in my crib and tells me it’s time to go to sleep. Really, which would you prefer?
- You let me take hard, pointy toys into my crib. Mom never lets me have this stuff in bed because she says it’s not safe. “You can’t sleep with your triceratops because you’ll poke your eye out with the horns,” she says. She’s such a worry wart. Instead, she lets me sleep with things like my Nerf football. The same one I bit into tiny little pieces the other day.
- You tell better bedtime stories than momma. Sometimes, I see mom standing at the door to my room as you read me a story. I think she knows that you read “Where the Wild Things Are” better than she does.
- You let me take stickers to bed. And, obviously, that means that you want me to plaster my entire crib, pajamas and stuffed animals with said stickers. Why else would you give them to me, right?
I don’t think mom was amused when she saw this this morning. But, then again, she did start laughing and ran to grab the camera. So, maybe she did think it was funny after all.
Anyway, clearly, good things happen when you put me to bed instead of momma. I’m thinking we should make it a regular routine.
So, pretty please, could you talk to momma about my request?