When your beloved is a butt-rocker…

I should have known what I was getting into when I married him.

I was aware of his penchant for rock bands and heavy metal.  I knew of his love for playing the air guitar around the house.  I had listened to him serenade me with power love ballads.

He was a child formed by the 80’s.  It was a part of his past that I couldn’t deny.

Or mute.

I knew he was a butt-rocker.

But what I didn’t know?  Is that when your beloved is a butt-rocker, it will affect your offspring.  Your children will slowly begin to acquire a taste for the stuff as well.  It doesn’t matter how much you shelter them, or immediately try to switch the music over to the Wiggles soundtrack when they are in the car.  Sometimes thing slip.  Those grating guitar riffs – and the lyrics that accompany them – will find a way to your child’s ears.

And they hear all.

When your beloved is a butt-rocker, your kids might prefer Van Halen over Dixie Chicks.  If you happen to be a country fan, you may desperately search for ways to rectify that injustice.  To no avail.

When your beloved is a butt-rocker, your kids may be confused about who Cinderella really is.  Sometimes it’s a beautiful blue princess; other times, it’s a big hair band reliving the glory days of the 80’s over and over again.  This will cause jealousy and mayhem when dad announces he’s going to see a Cinderella concert… sans kids.

Your children may run around the house screaming, “I AM IRON MAN.  DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DUM-DOO-DEE-DEE.”  All while practicing their air drum flair.

Your daughter may suddenly belt out the chorus to “Livin’ on a Prayer,” in public, causing you to want to hang your head in mortification.

Your kids might see a man sporting a mullet, acid washed jeans and eyeliner, and think nothing of it.

When your beloved is a butt-rocker, he might want to name the family car “Axel.”  After Guns n Roses.  Because he thinks it’s funny to break out into “Welcome to the Jungle” every time you load the kids up into the car.

And to trump it all, when your beloved is a butt-rocker, he may buy your kids clothes like this.

And even though you groan a little inside when they wear it, you can’t help but think it’s cute. So you laugh, shake your head, and let it slip by.

And you admit should have know what you were getting into… when you married a butt-rocker.

18 thoughts on “When your beloved is a butt-rocker…”

  1. Ack. Apparently, we married the same man. Really. Lately, though, son and dad have been singing “The Touch” from the ORIGINAL Transformers movie. Talk about Power Ballad… with robots!

  2. I totally feel your pain. My husband is also a product of the 80’s and has totally converted my children to AC DC and Bon Jovi fans. They love to “rock out”. He has also made them huge U2 fans (he has Irish roots) and I hate U2. The IPod has also made all this music so much more accessible so I think I am pretty much screwed.
    Un the up side your little boy is stinking cute!

  3. In this neck of the woods, Butt-Rocker means something entirely different. That said, my wife probably feels for you. When I handed down my old cell phone to my daughter with AC/DCs Back in Black as the ring tone, she kept it even though she knew how to change it.

  4. My hubs listens to music like Metallica and Tool. About the only thing we jointly like are the Chili Peppers.

    I love, love, the shirt…and he looks very happy to wear it!

  5. I hope that they would listen to VanHalen over Dixie Chicks! Ack country. I’d listen to anything butt (hee hee get it) country.
    My husband is a hair band/ butt rocker too.

  6. I’m sorry to say, but we can no longer be friends. 80’s music is on my Top 10 All-Time HATES list.

    It was nice knowing you, BooyahsMomma.

  7. Your blog is not only entertaining and informational, but also good for self revelation. For example, I never knew until today that I was indeed a butt rocker.


    “Your daughter may suddenly belt out the chorus to “Livin’ on a Prayer,” in public, causing you to want to hang your head in mortification.”

    Hang my head in shame? No. I would sing along with her.

    Also, I used to sing to D1 by replacing I am Iron Man with her name – conveniently, her name also had 5 syllables. Coincidence, I swear.

  8. A butt-rocker, huh…I’ll admit, at first I thought you were going to launch into something highly inappropriate for your family blog here 🙂
    However, I, too, would qualify as a butt-rocker, and as such, have no sympathy for the fact that your beautiful children are breaking into Dixie Chick songs! The Dixie Chicks! Serioulsy??? I think you’re little guy has the right idea with that tshirt…can I eat him up…come on, just once! You can have another child, your husband the butt-rocker wants another one!
    I heart you! This was funny and the picture totally completed the post!

  9. I feel ya, though it is partially my fault. Though, I’ll take the seventies over the eighties most days, I couldn’t help but get tickled when my kids were singing sweet child o’ mine during the super bowl and didn’t miss a word. lol
    Rock on kiddos! Love that picture and the shirt!

  10. So funny! It’s those things you don’t think about while you’re saying I do. My husband says this phrase to me often – you knew that about me and still married me. It’s true but I didn’t know that my boys would turn into mini versions of him! What a delightful little guy you have there and that shirt is pretty darn cute!

  11. OK, I sound old for not knowing the term “butt-rocker”, but man, my hubs has some musical tastes that drive the kids and I insane! He loves all the old 70’s/80’s stuff from “Rubberband Man” to some of the stuff you’re talking about. We graduated from high school in 1982, so this is the stuff that’s ingrained in his psyche.

    Our poor children, you and I. Thank god he never got a mullet. But my younger brother had one at our wedding that was pretty sweet.

  12. Hahaha your kids have fine taste in music then 😀 That picture is so so cute! Now I’m scratching my head since my little guy sometimes singing out loud Blackeyed Peas “I Got A Feeling” lyric which thankfully ‘only’ consist of the name of the days you know the “Sunday, Monday, Tuesday….” line lol.

  13. Lol! Love this post & the super cute picture 🙂 But I gotta admit now I’m a little confused. My wedding song was “When I See You Smile” by Bad English, so that would make me a butt rocker, too, right? … I did so love watching the faces of the grandparents at the reception during the wicked guitar solo… But I’d crawl under the table if my little one started singing Bon Jovi in public. Then again, her hip-swinging version of “Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?” probably isn’t much better… Oh well. I’m just gonna stop typing now and go back to dancing around the house to the “Fame” theme song. (Which by the way, does totally rock! ;))

Comments are closed.