In the dark, quiet house, a family of monsters lies sleeping. Momma and Poppa Monster snuggle in their bed, kept warm by layers of downy quilts. That, and the natural gas created by Poppa Monster.
Momma Monster stirs. She thinks she hears something. She glances at the clock. 4:28. With any luck, she has a few more hours of sleep until the Little Monsters get up.
Some mornings the Little Monsters are awoken early, by dreams of spooky things, or by the Boogey Monster hiding under the bed.
Other mornings they sneak quietly in, and hover ghoulishly by the bedside. They stand in the dark silently, willing the big monsters to wake up at an ungodly hour.
She hopes this will be the morning they decide to sleep in.
But, alas, it isn’t.
Their little biological clocks can’t be fooled by the hands of time. Their internal alarms have always run frightfully ahead of schedule. They wake most mornings at the butt crack of dawn, far earlier than should be humanly allowable.
This morning, butt crack seems to have arrived sooner than normal.
At 4:35, they burst into the room, howling like wild banshees. “Wake up, wake up!” they yell excitedly.
“It’s too early!! Go back to bed!” groans the Momma Monster. Her hair is wild and disheveled, and resembles that of Medusa. Her morning breath smells positively frightful. She hopes one of those factors might scare the little monsters back into their rooms.
“It’s five o’clock somewhere,” they reason with her.
“Can we come up there and watch Dora?” one of them asks.
“No!” snaps the Momma Monster irritably. She recalls the last time they tried that, the Little Monsters cackling “Swiper, no swiping” maniacally in her ear as she tried to go back to sleep.
“I hate daylight savings time,” Momma Monster grumbles to Poppa Monster.
“I’ll take them downstairs,” he says between yawns. He gets up and stumbles zombie-like towards the bedroom door. Momma Monster looks at him gratefully as he gallantly shuffles the little monsters down the hall.
As she burrows back into the covers, she can hear them fixing breakfast downstairs. Poppa Monster is preparing a cauldron of Cocoa Puffs for the Little Monsters. No doubt pouring on the chocolate milk and heaping on spoonfuls of additional sugar for good measure. She knows that when she does wake up, the Little Monsters will have a wicked sugar high. But right now, she is too tired to care.
Momma Monster drifts off to sleep, recalling a time when they used retire for the night just a few hours before that. When sleeping in meant sleeping past noon. And when daylight savings time meant you’d actually get an extra hour of sleep.
Does the thought of daylight savings time send chills up anyone else’s spine?