Fugazi: It’s what’s for dinner

I made Fugazi for dinner tonight.  It’s a staple in our house.

What’s Fugazi, you ask?  Well, it’s not to be confused with fusili, which are those cute little spiral shaped pastas. 

Fugazi, as defined by the Nerd Mafia, means:

1. Artificial, fake, false.
2. Something that has no substance.

I struggle with getting my kids (the little ones and the big one) to eat their vegetables.  So, when it comes to preparing meals and snacks for my family, my motto is: “When life gives you veggies, make Fugazi.”  In order to do this, I’ve had to get deceitful creative, innovative and, at times, downright sneaky.

Here are my top 7 ways to prepare Veggie Fugazi:

1. Fugazi with a side of meat.

   My kids, like their dad, pretty much think bacon is a fifth food group.  And really, can you blame them?  Mmm, bacon.

   But bacon is pretty handy for dressing up vegetables.  My theory?  Green beans, brussels sprouts, salad… if you put enough pig in a dish, they’re bound to get a bite of vegetable, even inadvertently. 

2. Meat, fugazi-style

   When the bacon runs out, I whip out the fugazi meat.  Veggie sausage (not to be confused with Tofurkey, which I feel should actually be outlawed) is actually pretty tasty.  The kids gobble it up, and I don’t think they even realize it’s not actual sausage.  I’m actually not sure how many veggies are actually in veggie sausage, but at least the cholesterol/actual food ratio is a little more reasonable.  Unlike bacon.  Mmm, bacon.

3. Crunchy Fugazi

   Veggie Booty is another staple in our house.  We go through a few bags a week.  Hey, there’s veggie in the name.  That counts, right? 

   Personally, I think the stuff tastes like cardboard.  But the kids go nuts for it.  And, it’s also pretty funny to see Chip sitting at his high chair, pointing to the pantry and screaming, “More booty, more booty!!”

4. Fugazi with a side of Ranch

   I hate using this one.  But it works.  Kinda like the bacon thing.  When in a pickle, I’ll whip out the ranch dressing.  Because ranch makes everything better.

5. Fugazi in a can

   Ah… there’s nothing better than fresh, crisp green beans, sauteed in a little butter and garlic.  To me, anyway.  My kids, however, won’t touch the things. 

   They prefer their green beans fugazi style.  As in, limp, dull, and canned.  Artificial green beans, if you ask me.  But, seeing as how they used to be vegetables at one point, I can’t complain too much about this one.
    

6. Pasta Fugazi

   What type of Nerd Mafia man would I be if I didn’t make pasta?  And I’m not just talking about good ol’ Mac & Cheese; although that is another staple in my house.

   When I’m feeling particularly sneaky, I’ll make Lasagna Fugazi; otherwise known as vegetarian lasagna.  I’ve found that if you puree spinach together with the marinara sauce, even the most eagle eye little toddlers can’t pick out the green parts.

   I’m also a fan of the spinach and tomato flavored pasta.  It doesn’t taste that great all by itself, but when you throw in some cheese and bacon, it becomes an instant hit.

7. Fugazi Bacon

   This one may be on the list, but I can honestly say I’m not crazy enough to try it.  I know what would happen if I dared to make faux bacon for my family.  All out revolt.

   And I have to say, they’re right about this one.  Some foods simply aren’t meant to have a vegetarian equivalent.  And bacon would be one of those. 

   I’ll get creative with the vegetables.  I’ll make substitutions where I think I can get away with it.  But one thing’s for certain. 

   Fugazi Bacon?  Will never be found in our house.