I love my parents unconditionally.  Both sets of parents.

It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I quite realized that.

I was adopted at a very young age.  Growing up, I always thought of my adoptive parents as simply “mom and dad”.  Blood ties or not, they were, and will always be, my parents.  And I was simply their daughter.  We share an unconditional love that could never be invalidated or negated because I wasn’t their biological child.

But when I had munchkins of my own, I began to think more and more about my birth mother.  Some of this probably has to do with the fact that Bobo is the spitting image of me when I was little… my own personal mini-me. I still do a double take any time someone mentions how much she resembles me; it’s unfamiliar territory for me to actually look like my family members.

Yeah, I see some similarities.

And thus, the physical similarities between my daughter and I have led to more reflection. Which leads to more questions about my birth mother.

Am I the spitting image of her?

Where is she now?

Did she have other children?

Has she led a happy life?

Does she still think of me?

Did I give her the same god-awful heartburn during pregnancy that my own kids gave me?

I have no answers, and probably will not ever.  But still I wonder… without any sense of bitterness, emptiness or what if’s.

I only have questions.  And gratitude.

Because she gave me life, and then had the courage to give me up for adoption.  Because she sent me to live with a family that’s given me more love than I could ever know what to do with.  Because she wanted a better life for her daughter, even though it would be a life she would never witness firsthand.

All I know is… for that, I love her unconditionally.

Mama's Losin' It

15 thoughts on “Love.”

  1. This is beautiful, I never thought that being adopted would make a person see their biological mother in this light. She gave you the best life that she knew how to. Just beautiful

  2. I love this, and what a perfect situation for the prompt! You and Bobo look like twins almost, it's amazing! I think you perspective on your birth mom is wonderful. And you are a wonderful mom.

  3. That was very touching. I use to work, until just recently, at an foster/adoption agency. So this story I've seen first hand on several occasions.

  4. Such cute comparison photos! This is a really, really awesome post. Your kids are lucky. 🙂

  5. Aww! I'm adopted, too, and have had all these same thoughts! I started thinking about it a LOT more after becoming a mom.

  6. I'm so glad I found this in trying to get caught up on reading! What an awesome perspective you have! I think the adopted cousins in my family hold a similar point of view, or at least I hope so.There is a book called Motherbridge of Love. It is a children's book, but one of the most beautiful books I have ever read. I think you'd like it. Make sure you have tissues on hand, though 🙂

  7. I was adopted as well. I can totally relate to everything you're saying. It's nice to read this. So many people can't understand that I'm grateful my biological mother had the courage to give me to a loving family, but I have no desire to seek her out.

  8. I got a chill reading this! Blood ties travel many distances and unconditional bonds can never be broken. It helps me understand my step-son's feeling about his biological mother, and the tremendous courage he has to understand that his place with me is the best for him. Thanks for this post. So nicely written.

  9. Such a beautiful post! My husband and I adopted our daughter from Ethiopia and are in the process of adopting twins from Ethiopia! We also have two more little ones! I found your blog on Picket Fence and will follow along, hopefully you'll want to do the same!

  10. Wow, I LOVE this post. You really do look just like your daughter. I sure wish you had a way to find out the answers to your questions…It would be so nice for your mom to know that nomatter what, you love her unconditionally, just like you love your adoptive parents. This entry just warmed my heart!

Comments are closed.