My posts are usually lighthearted in nature. But today, my heart is heavy.
At approximately 6 am on Saturday, a dear friend left us. It’s left a gaping hole in our hearts, and in the epicenter of our home.
This is the place our friend used to reside. The friend, who I’ll call Telly, was with us for years. We’ve been through many things together. To be exact: six seasons of Survivor, 94 regular season NFL games, a few VH1 “I love the 80’s” marathons, and approximately 2600 hours of Nickelodeon.
All that is left now is a gaping, 42″ hole that stares back at us in emptiness.
While our entire family has mourned the loss of Telly, it is my husband who has taken the untimely departure very well. So well, in fact, he was actually chomping at the bit to go look for a replacement friend the very day Telly left us.
Which is a little morbid, if you ask me. Not more than five minutes after we had moved Telly’s 80 pound frame (still warm) into the garage, Jay started taking measurements.
As it turns out, while I was always happy with Telly, she was, in my husband’s eyes, simply mediocre. Telly came from the era of analog television. Her display has not high def, and she did not have surround sound. And she was, shall we say, not very well endowed… size wise.
Simply put, Telly was not sexy enough for Jay.
So on Saturday, kids in tow, we ventured off to the replacement friend store, in search of Telly Two. The gleam that appeared in my husband’s eye when we entered the store was unmistakable. It immediately became clear that Jay would no longer settle for mediocrity.
The next 90 minutes made my head spin. Unbeknownst to me, they don’t even make analog TVs anymore. Who knew? I also got a crash course on strange vocabulary like resolution, bandwidth, megahertz. I was educated (by both the salesman and Jay) that, at least when it came to TVs, bigger is always better.
I couldn’t take it. I convinced Jay that I needed some time to ponder. And to mourn my beloved, simple and mediocre old television. Preferably over a drink.
For now, the hole still sits. But as football season rapidly approaches, I suspect it will not remain empty for long. Telly Two will likely be bigger, faster and and sexier than Telly One.
And, if my husband has anything to say about it, anything but mediocre.