I’m feeling generally feisty this week, so I decided to join in on the fun of Friday Flip-Offs. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s where you write about things going on in your life that you want to give the virtual finger to.
Mom and Dad, you might want to skip over this one.
To the advice nurse who told me that a 104.5 degree temperature was no big deal. Flip off. Because it is a big deal for me, and the crumpled little heap of a toddler who felt pretty miserable.
To the meeting that was supposed to last 30 minutes, but instead ran almost three hours. Over the lunch hour. I would have flipped you off, but I was too weak from hunger by that point to raise a finger.
To the toilet in the guest bathroom that has suddenly developed a scary little gurgling noise, and never really flushes properly… flip off. Literally. I’m sick of hearing you run in the middle of the night. Don’t make me pull out my pliers and extra socks in an attempt to try to fix you. ‘Cause you know I will.
To my neighbor lady who lets her three kids (all under the age of 5) ride their scooters and bikes in the middle of the street while she sits on her porch checking her email… Flip off! You’re putting your kids in danger. And please don’t shake your fist at me to slow down even though I’m going under the speed limit. You get a double fisted bird for this one, neighbor lady.
To the aunt that decided to come visit me after a two year hiatus, flip off. Yes, I mean that aunt. I’m suddenly missing being pregnant or breastfeeding. To my aunt: I didn’t miss you. Not one bit.
There. I feel better already. And boy, are my fingers tired.