I need to break up with you.

Dear Blog,

I’m breaking up with you.

Please understand.  It’s not you, it’s me.

Actually, it is you.  Truth be told, you’re not the same blog I used to know.

I remember the first time we met.  You were mine.  All mine. You were special, and quirky, and a bad dresser.  No one knew about you, and I loved you anyway.  In fact, not even my husband knew about our affair in the beginning.

And then one day a few months ago, a stranger came up and complimented you.  I took notice, and beamed with pride.  I decided to “come out” about our relationship.  I gave you a blog makeover and made you wear different clothes.  I started talking about you more to other people.

That’s when things started to change.  I had no idea the can of worms I’d inadvertently opened.

I quickly realized:  Anyone can blog.  But being a blogger is about making connections.

And I admit, I got caught up in the connections.

I loved connecting with some fantastic women, and feeling like they “got” me.  I loved the “ding” in my email box and reading the subject line: “New comment on…!”   I loved reading another blog and thinking, “Wow, they completely nailed what I was feeling.”  I loved finding inspiration from a kindred spirit after I had a crappy day.  Or reading a post and laughing so hard I blew beer out my nose. 

I actually don’t love that last part… it really hurts and makes a big boogery mess all over the computer.

But connect I did.  And I lost sight of the fact that it was no longer just you and me.

I also had no idea that when I started my public relationship with you, all of your in-laws, second cousins, and a few of your college drinking buddies would come a-callin’.  Sometimes it seemed like I spent more time with them than I did you.  And while Google Reader, Blog Frog and Twitter really are nice folks, they are really more your friends than mine.

I started to miss you.  And the old days.

I haven’t been completely honest with you either, Blog.  What I should have told you when I first met is that I have a life of my own.  A life that includes two beautiful kids, a husband, a full time job, 2 side businesses, a tabby cat, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Our relationship was platonic at first, and it seemed harmless enough.  But lately, it seems to have morphed into a full-blown affair.  Keeping up two relationships is hard.  It’s stressful as hell.

You may not have noticed, but my family has.

Maybe this is all just me.  I honestly don’t know how other people do this whole blogging thing and find balance.  Screw balance.  How do they find time to have a life??  Because I know I don’t have much of one lately.

Theta Mom is doing a little meme on her site called “What makes you a Theta Mom?”  I thought about submitting this post there.  But then I realized…

I honestly can’t call myself a Theta Mom.

Lately, I’m more like a Zeta Mom.  Zeta business woman.  Zeta domestic goddess.  Zeta wife.  Zeta blogger (even though, ironically, you are on the D-list).

I started my relationship with you as a path to self-discovery.  Instead, I found that you were just one of the many things getting in my way of being who I want to be seen as.

Alpha Mom.  Alpha Wife.  Alpha Me.

I’ve been doing too many things, and none of them well.   Something’s had to give.  And I’ve decided to start with you.

I don’t know where we went wrong, but I do know this about you, Blog:

You can’t cuddle in bed with me while watching Disney princess movies.  You can’t give me slobbery, Cheerio-laced kisses.  And you can’t spoon with me at night.

Goodbye, Blog.  It’s been a fun, yet hectic ride, and I will miss you.  I’m hoping that we can once again resume our relationship, be it days, weeks or months from now.

But you can bet your ass that when or if I do come back to you, I’ll know where my priorities are.

In the meantime, we’ll always be friends.  Right?