I need to break up with you.

Dear Blog,

I’m breaking up with you.

Please understand.  It’s not you, it’s me.

Actually, it is you.  Truth be told, you’re not the same blog I used to know.

I remember the first time we met.  You were mine.  All mine. You were special, and quirky, and a bad dresser.  No one knew about you, and I loved you anyway.  In fact, not even my husband knew about our affair in the beginning.

And then one day a few months ago, a stranger came up and complimented you.  I took notice, and beamed with pride.  I decided to “come out” about our relationship.  I gave you a blog makeover and made you wear different clothes.  I started talking about you more to other people.

That’s when things started to change.  I had no idea the can of worms I’d inadvertently opened.

I quickly realized:  Anyone can blog.  But being a blogger is about making connections.

And I admit, I got caught up in the connections.

I loved connecting with some fantastic women, and feeling like they “got” me.  I loved the “ding” in my email box and reading the subject line: “New comment on…!”   I loved reading another blog and thinking, “Wow, they completely nailed what I was feeling.”  I loved finding inspiration from a kindred spirit after I had a crappy day.  Or reading a post and laughing so hard I blew beer out my nose. 

I actually don’t love that last part… it really hurts and makes a big boogery mess all over the computer.

But connect I did.  And I lost sight of the fact that it was no longer just you and me.

I also had no idea that when I started my public relationship with you, all of your in-laws, second cousins, and a few of your college drinking buddies would come a-callin’.  Sometimes it seemed like I spent more time with them than I did you.  And while Google Reader, Blog Frog and Twitter really are nice folks, they are really more your friends than mine.

I started to miss you.  And the old days.

I haven’t been completely honest with you either, Blog.  What I should have told you when I first met is that I have a life of my own.  A life that includes two beautiful kids, a husband, a full time job, 2 side businesses, a tabby cat, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Our relationship was platonic at first, and it seemed harmless enough.  But lately, it seems to have morphed into a full-blown affair.  Keeping up two relationships is hard.  It’s stressful as hell.

You may not have noticed, but my family has.

Maybe this is all just me.  I honestly don’t know how other people do this whole blogging thing and find balance.  Screw balance.  How do they find time to have a life??  Because I know I don’t have much of one lately.

Theta Mom is doing a little meme on her site called “What makes you a Theta Mom?”  I thought about submitting this post there.  But then I realized…

I honestly can’t call myself a Theta Mom.

Lately, I’m more like a Zeta Mom.  Zeta business woman.  Zeta domestic goddess.  Zeta wife.  Zeta blogger (even though, ironically, you are on the D-list).

I started my relationship with you as a path to self-discovery.  Instead, I found that you were just one of the many things getting in my way of being who I want to be seen as.

Alpha Mom.  Alpha Wife.  Alpha Me.

I’ve been doing too many things, and none of them well.   Something’s had to give.  And I’ve decided to start with you.

I don’t know where we went wrong, but I do know this about you, Blog:

You can’t cuddle in bed with me while watching Disney princess movies.  You can’t give me slobbery, Cheerio-laced kisses.  And you can’t spoon with me at night.

Goodbye, Blog.  It’s been a fun, yet hectic ride, and I will miss you.  I’m hoping that we can once again resume our relationship, be it days, weeks or months from now.

But you can bet your ass that when or if I do come back to you, I’ll know where my priorities are.

In the meantime, we’ll always be friends.  Right?

6 thoughts on “I need to break up with you.”

  1. Aww, this makes me sad! I was just getting to know you! Completely understand though. I think you've expressed what a lot of us are thinking and feeling.

  2. What's crazy is that I just posted a VERY similar blog post. I am feeling a lot of the same things as you. Feel free to read if you feel so inclined. I am completely on the same page, but I have just decided to not get caught up in it all, rather than abandon it all together.

  3. Seriously. I don't even remember how I came upon your blog. A link to a link to a link somewhere along the way. Well said mama. Love on your kids. Love on your hubs. I totally get what you are saying. Facebook and the World Wide Web aren't going anywhere. They'll be here when you get back. Whenever the heck that might be. Enjoy!!

  4. Once again, you write a post that sounds like it came from inside my head.I, too, have been struggling with how much effort and commitment I want to give to my blog. My balance is a little better than it was, but I still struggle with it. and sometimes I still wonder if I even LIKE blogging?I get it, but I'll miss your hilarious posts!

  5. I commented on your next post first and so I've already said it but, you really have a way with words. I'll be totally sad if you abandon completely because I really enjoy reading your posts. But, I completely understand.I keep bouncing around inside my own emotional tilt-a-whirl. One day I feel excited about my growing "followers" list and the next day I'll feel like posting "I'M DONE, GOOD BYE!" because blogging takes too damn much time. Why am I blogging anyway? For comments? So complete strangers could see what I made and tell me that I'm amazing? That's kind of pathetic, if I have to admit it myself. I don't have time to read all the blogs I'm following either because instead of just posting whenever they have something interesting to show, almost every blog that I follow has now become a "reality" blog, posting about every little detail of their day, every day! I'm sorry, but I have a life of my own! I want to see interesting things that I can use as inspiration for projects in my REAL LIFE!I'm not going to quit. (One thing in the back of my mind whenever I think I might quit is that I can't because "Some fantastically talented and extremely generous lady" just spent hours and hours re-designing my blog for me.) But I am going to try to focus on MY REAL LIFE which is all the projects that I do on my house so I'm going to keep showing them. I'm just going to focus on DOING the project instead of HOW THIS WILL LOOK WHEN I POST IT!Good luck with your inner struggle. I hope you come out on top.

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