Before I was a mom…

Before I was a mom, I sported a cute little purse.  Now, I lug around something resembling a small body bag, loaded with diapers, wipes, sippy cups and snacks.  No wonder I can never find my keys in there.

Before I was a mom, I went out to quiet dinners with my husband.  We’d sip cocktails while exchanging real, adult conversation.  Now, dinners out consist of blowing on/cutting up someone’s food, entertaining the kids with napkin origami and, sometimes, getting a to-go box just when dinner arrives so that we can avoid the impending public meltdown. 

Before I was a mom, I wore matching underwear.  Nowadays, I’m lucky if I wear matching socks.  Business suits have been replaced by jeans and T-shirts, which often have boogers or something equally attractive wiped on them.

Before I was a mom, I was a fairly good multi-tasker.  Now, I am an exceptional one.  I can make dinner, conference call to work and hold a baby at the same time.  Granted, the dinners are often burnt and my boss has problems hearing me above the ruckus in my house, but I have to at least get an A for effort.

Before I was a mom, I was a regular at happy hour.  I still do this occasionally, but it requires an unreal amount of planning and forethought.  The real happy hour in our house now starts at 8 o’clock, when both kids are in bed, and I can finally crack open a beer.

Before I was a mom, I cursed, often.  Now, I am constantly reprimanded by my four year old when I utter anything even remotely sounding like a potty word.  And for the record, potty words in our house consist of word such as “butt” or “fart.”  I struggle with this one on a daily basis.  I accidentally called someone a “dillhole” in the car the other day, and my daughter had a field day.

Before I was a mom, time was easy to define.  A year was measured by 365 days. 

I now measure a year by the changes and milestones that come with it.  A year can change a helpless, snuggly infant into a babbling, walking toddler.  It can change a princess who resented being dethroned into a fiercely independent little girl who would do anything for her brother.

And it can transform a purse-carrying, well-dressed, potty-mouthed lush into simply.. “mama.”

This is my first “writing assignment” for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.  I used to hate homework… now I’m doing it by choice.
Mama's Losin' It

4 thoughts on “Before I was a mom…”

  1. I love the idea of years being measured by milestones now, not 365 days. Great post! (Found you via Mamakat.)

  2. This is a good one! Madison used to reprimand us for using "bad" language and then she just joined us. We tried, we really did but sometimes there just isn't another word to substitute so she heard just about all of them. She even started combining words that you've never heard together before but kind of make sense if you look at it from a child's perspective. I'll never forget picking her up from school and she got in the car and told me what about a boy that was such a Sh** A** Yeah, they both have to do with that part of the body I guess!

  3. Your kids are still pretty young yet. Hang in there and you may just return to the land of small purses and matching underwear.I had to laugh at the bad language comments. I remember swearing like a sailor when I was in 2nd grade. Now my 3rd grader has no idea what most of the bad words are and even thought, at one point, that the "F" word was "Fails!"I think she may be far too sheltered.

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