What’s worse than smelling like poop?

Q:  What’s worse than smelling like poop?
A:  Smelling like someone else’s poop.

When I opened the door to Chip’s room this morning, I was greeted by a smell I can only describe as rancid.  Chippy had a major blowout sometime during the middle of the night, and boy, was it a dandy.  Messy and stinky combined.  I’m used to changing diapers, but this one seriously made my eyes water.

When I was putting on Chip’s socks, I noticed the odor still lingering.  I check Chip’s clothes and diaper, and can find no trace.  I wash and sanitize my hands.  We’re in a big hurry this morning, so I don’t think much more of it, and I herd the kids out the door to take them to daycare.

However, when I get home, it still stinks.  I start my little quest to try to figure out where it was coming from.  I check Chippy’s crib sheets.  I empty the diaper pail and spray a healthy dose of air freshener in his room.  This helps somewhat, although I’m still getting a whiff of something.  In desperation, I lift up the cat’s tail to see if she has something stuck in there.  It’s usually a good thing when I come up empty in this department, but this morning, it only left me more stumped.

As a last resort, I go into the other room to change my own clothes.  It’s then that I look into the mirror and see the little brown streak on my nose.  There are a couple of points about this that mortify me.  First, I somehow got poo on my own nose without knowing about it.  That in itself is gross beyond words.  Secondly, I had conversations with both of the kids’ teachers today, as well as several parents, and no one bothered to tell me, “Hey, you have a little bit of crap on your nose.”

Rest assured, if I ever see you walking around with something on your face, I will let you know.  Especially if it resembles poop in any way, shape or form.  I’d rather be called a “brown-noser” any day than walk around with poo on my face.