How to (not) party like a rockstar

A couple of weeks ago, Jay and I went on our annual pilgrimage to our own little Mecca, otherwise known as Vegas.

My favorite activity while we’re down there is to lounge by the pool, baking in the 110 degree sun.

A close second would be poker.  Texas Hold ‘Em, to be exact.  We played quite a bit before we had the kids but, obviously, don’t have the occasion to do much of that nowadays.  So, when we’re in Vegas, we definitely get our fill of Hold ‘Em.

One morning, after I had sufficiently roasted by the poolside, we decided to hit the tables a little earlier than usual and play poker in an afternoon tournament.

Enter Mistake #1.  As the tournament director yelled “Shuffle up and deal” (which is a fancy way of saying, “Let’s get this ball rolling!”), I answered back with a huge yawn.  I was baked (sunwise, that is), and I realized too late that instead of sitting down for hours of poker, what I desperately needed was a nap.

The grizzled old player in the seat next to me noticed my near-narcolepsy (which, as you can imagine, is kind of a faux pas in poker), and gestured towards the drink the cocktail waitress had just brought him. 

“Rockstar,” he said.  “You should try it.”

And so I ordered one.  Even though I had never tried an energy drink before. 

Enter Mistake #2.

After that first sip, I was hooked.  It tasted fruity, refreshing and zingy.  I might even describe it as effervescent.

I was instantly awake.  And wired like you wouldn’t believe.

Fast forward four hours, two measly potty breaks (tournament schedules were not designed for women who have been pregnant), and three additional  Mistakes (aka Rockstars) later.  Somehow, I’ve miraculously found myself playing one-on-one at the final table.

I don’t remember the final few hands, or how I won the tournament.  To be honest, I was too amped up on my new favorite beverage to concentrate much on what cards I held.  I’d like to think it was my stellar playing that drove me to victory.  According to bystanders (aka my husband), it was more likely my effervescent personality nonstop, 100 mph chatter that drove the other player from the table.

And, as the laws of physics dictate, what goes up… must come down.  I spent the entire next day of our vacation feeling like a miserable wretch.  I didn’t know it was possible to O.D. on Rockstar, but I’m quite sure I did.  The next day, I was the antithesis of effervescent:  deflated, flat, and very un-zingy.

But… the moral of this story?  If you see me drinking this at a poker table:

Be forewarned that I might end up looking like this:

And I will probably beat you.

Either that, or I will talk you into submission.